Animals are ruining my life. Have you ever noticed how enthusiastic animals are about morning? They wake up and start running around making noise for no reason. They're all "Holy crap! I'm an animal and it's really fucking early in the morning and I feel great!!!!"
I haven't slept more than 5 hours in a night for over a week now and it's all because of one stupid bird that lives in a tree right outside my window. Here's a really shitty picture I drew of my house and the tree and the bird:
This arrangement is a problem because I'm nocturnal and I go to bed at 4:00 AM and the bird wakes up three hours later and starts making sounds like a retarded alarm clock because it's so excited to be a bird.
The bird wakes up every other animal in the world and then all the animals are like "Yaaaaaayyyy! We're animals and it's morning!"
It is completely unnecessary.
Sometimes I try to yell at them to get them to be quiet, but they're animals so they don't listen at all.
I just end up lying in my bed getting madder and madder at them until I'm not even sleepy anymore and then I get up and make coffee and try to remember to go to the store to buy earplugs but that never happens because I start playing online bingo or something and I forget and pretty soon it's nighttime and I'm like "Shit! I didn't go to the store!" and I go to bed secretly hoping that maybe all the animals will get really depressed and they won't feel the need to tell the world about how excited they are, but no. The moment there is even one fraction of a ray of sunshine in the sky, the bird is wide awake and ready to party.
P.S. It's Saturday, so I figured that I should probably post some Spaghatta Nadle. I only made two because my brain was like "MMMMMNNNNEEAAAAARGGGHHHH!!!!NOOOOOOOOOO!" And I don't even know if any of this is making sense because I'm so tired that I'm high.
I blame animals.
I blame animals.