I thought about walking downtown and taking a picture of the yoga studio with a logo that looks like a penis, which is something I've been meaning to do for awhile since it is almost unbelievably penis-like, but I was too tired because I had to get up early this morning and go to the dentist and I was crabby because the dentist was like "describe your flossing regimen..." and I was like "intermittent?" And the dentist judged me and I could tell that she was silently blaming me for my snaggle tooth when in reality it's God's fault for not making teeth more resistant to Tang. Then I had this sad little moment where I realized that no matter how proud of myself I was for remembering to floss a few times a month, it would never be good enough for the dentist. It was like when I took Modern Dance in college and my teacher just wrote "Allie tries really hard" on my end-of-year evaluation and it destroyed the image I had of myself as Kevin Bacon in Footloose.
Anyway, what I ended up doing was starting an online message board for no apparent reason.
I think it has the potential to be pretty great, though. At first it was just me talking to myself with another account that I created, but then a few others trickled in. So far, the discussions range from an all-caps conversation about how great ham is to who would win in a fight between a shark and a robotic tiger. There's also a section for drawings and a contest section where you can win things like a picture of Kevin Bacon autographed by me, or a rock.
I wrote a bunch of FAQs and rules, but those are mostly prophylactic in nature. I want my forum to be a place where people can go to talk about totally inane things without having to worry about being bombarded with pictures of vaginas or being called an "asshat" or a "douchebag" repeatedly. It's also a great way for me to entertain myself during the day when I should be doing things like grocery shopping and sweeping.
If you want to help me get this thing going, go HERE. Go totally nuts. If my comments section is any indication, this has the potential to be totally hilarious.
P.S. Don't hesitate to start new threads. I'd love to see what you guys come up with!
UPDATE: My forum seems to have crashed. This is grounds for major warfare, internet. You can't keep me from being famous forever!! It's fine now. I won. The internet lost.
UPDATE: So far the forum has been everything I had hoped it would be. I would especially like to highlight the dinosaur-drawing competition and the bee thread. This is like taking the internet and sprinkling it with gold. Another good one has been the wizard fights shark thread, though it needs more graphical analysis and perhaps some field data.