Two hours later:
Boyfriend: "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you love me?"
Me: "Eleven million."
Boyfriend: "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you love Michael Cera?"
Boyfriend: "That's not a big gap."
Me: "Yeah. Especially not when you factor in how long I've known you versus how long I've known Michael Cera. Are you jealous?"
Me: "What if I was like 'I want to bone Michael Cera'?"
Boyfriend: "I wouldn't take you very seriously because you can't even say it with a straight face."
And then I looked Boyfriend straight in the face and without even a whisper of a smile I said "I want to bone Michael Cera." And then Boyfriend asked me if I was thinking about dead kittens because I usually think about dead kittens when I'm trying to keep a straight face, and I was all "Yeah"and Boyfriend was like "So you just said 'I want to bone Michael Cera' while you were thinking about dead kittens?"
And yes. Yes I did.
Anyway, I have found that matters of the heart are best solved with statistics. If I truly hope to figure out whether I like Boyfriend or Michael Cera better, I'm going to have to crunch some numbers.
Figures and Charts: