Oh yeah, I was going to talk about how I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about stuff, but then I got distracted thinking about how, if I really could go back and talk to myself in the past, the potential for practical jokes would pretty much be endless. Like, I could tell myself that I'm on fire! Or that every time I poop, Satan stabs God in the face and God dies and it's all my fault for being so filthy. That would really fuck me up.
Or I could actually try to be helpful and not ruin my entire life over a cruel, albeit hilarious, joke.
Some useful advice for Allie, from YOURSELF IN THE FUTURE:
Similarly, your grandmother's face cream is not frosting. Nope, still not frosting. ARE YOU RETARDED???? It's still not fucking frosting! It will never be frosting! No matter how many times you check, it will always be face cream and never frosting.
And then my past self and my future self would get in a fight and someone would get stabbed and the winner would be like "LOOK WHO'S NOT SURVIVAL MATERIAL NOW, BITCH!"
Except for no one really wins in that situation.
And that's why I stay the fuck away from time travel.